Confessions of a crazed missionera . . .

"We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything." 2 Corinthians 6: 3 - 10

So much is going on in our lives!!!!

First, an update on Ruth. Rebekah and I were originally supposed to meet with Ruth on Tuesday of this week but she asked if we could change to Wednesday and we were happy to oblige. However, on Wednesday, when we went to meet Ruth at her home, she was not there. Rebekah and I feel like this lady is truly interested in beginning a Bible Study yet we can't figure out why she is never there when we try to meet with her. Please continue to pray for this situation.

A very exciting event occurred in our lives when last week our dear friend, Graham came to visit us! We were able to show him around San Jose, and go up to Irazu to see the Volcano and also the beautiful ruins of Cartago. It was a wonderful time fellowshiping with our friend - It was also wonderful to get some Little Debbie's too ( which he was so gracious to bring to us!). Thank you Graham so much for your visit!


I feel that now is a time to be completely honest . . . these past few months have been TOUGH. We ( by "We" I mean specifically "I") have had a very difficult time adjusting to life here in Costa Rica. I was told that it would be difficult to move to another country - I listened - sort of. Satan has really tried to attack us in so many ways and after about a month I found myself angry at God.

Are you ready for this?

I even told God that I did not like these people and truthfully found it very hard to love them. They had stolen from me, laughed at me when I stumbled through their language, ignored me, and even a couple had let me know that they didn't want me to be here! These people, I felt, did not deserve for me to give up everything I wanted in my life to learn their language so I might minister to them!

Have I shocked you yet?

I am just getting started . . . .

I have cried and thrown fits and said we must be in the middle of some punishment. I have gone to school only to have almost turned around and walked out the door again. I have stomped my feet in anger, shouted at no one in rage, and I have cried buckets of tears since we have been here. I told God I missed my family and my friends. I missed my favorite comfort foods. I missed hot water in the sink and I missed having my own vehicle and being out of school!

One day I was pouring out my soul to the Lord complaining about everything that was wrong with these people and my life and something completely shut off within me and God whispered ever so sweetly to my heart: Danielle, those people that you are talking about are just like you said, they don't deserve anything. Yet . . . neither do you.

Of course, I already knew this. Yet, sometimes ( okay, often) I forget. I do not know how many times I am going to have to learn the lesson that my life is not about me. Probably one hundred and eighty BILLION - but I hope not.

Through some heart to hearts with the Holy Spirit, my sweet husband, and some girlfriends, I finally came back from my self centeredness and realized this is part of the missionary life!

Not just so - It is part of every Christian's life!

God did not tell us that the people we are ministering to deserve our love or God's love -What about Adam and Eve? They disobeyed God and betrayed Him yet He still loved them.

He did not promise it would be easy -Look at Jesus' ministry - He was laughed at, persecuted, beaten, and eventually killed; He was the son of God and no one believed what He had to say!

God did not promise that we would be happy and life would be fun and full of joy and blessings all the time -think about Job -He lost pretty much everyone he loved and everything he had.

He never promised that we would always like who we were ministering to -Jonah hated the people God sent him to minister to SO much that he ran away!

He did not promise that we would always want to go where he sent us -Abraham.

And, God never told us that we would always feel like doing what He told us to do -Moses begged God to find someone else to do the job God had called him to.


The passage at the top of the post is something that has stuck deeply into my heart in these past few months. This passage is such a good reminder to me that all of us will face difficult times in our ministries as Christians. It is not just normal - it is expected! I wrote this out in my own words as it applies to how I see our lives sometimes as modern day Christians:

We attempt to put no stumbling block in anyone’s path so our ministry will be given credence. We commend ourselves in our efforts and tribulations: in robberies, sickness of our children ,and trouble with language learning; hard work, sleepless nights, loneliness, hunger for food from home, in purity, our attempt at understanding, in patience as we search for opportunities to serve and kindness even when we are ignored and mistreated, in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love even when we don’t feel like loving others; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with our Bible in our right hand and the power of the Holy spirit within us, when we can’t speak the language, when no one will listen to our message of the gospel; having genuine love for the people yet looked upon with skepticism; known yet ignored completely; our spirits are dying and yet we live on; beaten down emotionally, and still not yet dead; sorrowful because we feel useless many days yet rejoicing because we know God has a plan, poor yet making many rich with the message of the gospel; having only what we could carry in our 6 suitcases yet possessing everything in eternity. . . .

I wanted to share all my whinings with those of you who read our blog to encourage those who are facing difficult times but also because I felt it was important for you to know how large of an impact your prayers have had on our lives.

In all honesty, some days are wonderful but some days it takes a lot just to get out of bed in the morning and walk to school. Some days we are excited and can't wait to learn everything we possibly can and others it takes a great deal for us to be motivated to learn the language we are here to learn. And some days it is really easy to love the people when they are kind and sweet and friendly but when they ignore me when I smile at them on the street or offer up a friendly greeting or stand us up three times in a row for a Bible Study my patience gets thin and the love borders on annoyance. Yet, each day we give everything over to God and ask Him to help us love these people and to give us strength as we know that He has planted us here for a reason and for a season. And each day, we can make it because others are lifting us up to the Father.

We are so very thankful that God listens to the prayers of His people and gives us grace to make it through each and every day. Things are getting progressively easier as I am slowly getting over my self centered mindset but I still have to ask the Father to help me through each and every day.

Please continue your prayers for us. They are felt. They are witnessed in our lives and they are oh so needed.

We know that so many pray for us - please let us know how we can pray for you as well this week.

Gracias de una missionera muy loca,

Daniela